Is happiness a choice or by chance

You have heard many people saying that happiness is a choice, you can be happy if you want to be. Those are inspirational quotes but not true.

If happiness was just a choice, everyone would definitely choose to be happy. There would not be any unhappy people on the planet. You can face many sad and heartbreaking situations. You can lose your health, you can lose a family member. You can be chronic sick. Those things would not be helpful to be happy.

You can try to be happier; that is possible.  You need a strong motivation to be happy. Motivation is a choice. You can choose to motivate yourself to be happier.

If you have real motivation to be happy, you could be at least happier. Your motivation can’t guarantee your happiness. Happiness depends on many things that you don’t have any control over.

You don’t have control over your thoughts and emotions. Our brain is a very complex structure and has many chemical components. Even you don’t choose your depressions and sadness, you could be depressed. You can feel sad even there is no real reason to be sad.

You can earn money on your own. But you can’t be happy alone. Your happiness depends on many people. The most important people in your life is your family-your spouse and kids. You can’t decide how your relationship with your family will turn out. There is no guarantee that you will be happy in family life.

I used to be a mentor before I have become a business consultant. I guided people on how to set a goal and have the mindset to be happy. I have guided people to be happy with their limited resources, how to be happy in stressful situations. I have mentored people who were unhappy in relationships. I was successful.


I helped many people to be happy. But what about myself? I know so many things about purposes of life, relationship and happiness. But I could not be very happy. I had a very aversive childhood. I was mobbed and bullied. I was both physically and mentally tortured in my childhood. I have studied a lot how to get over childhood trauma and have applied those on me. I am somehow successful but not very happy. It is because I can’t control my brain functions.

I am inclined to say that happiness is not a choice, but the choice is a precondition for happiness. If you are determined to be happy, then you would end up being happier. This is exactly my case. I have become happier after making a serious choice.

I, strongly, suggest that you choose motivation to be happy. Your motivation and choices would not be in vain. You will be partially happy.

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