When is it time to break up?
When staying in a relationship chronically painful, one should consider carefully if there is any way to save the relationship. When one or both partners have done all they could do but still no improvement, then it is time to let it go.
Many good and sympathetic people can’t keep their relationship. You don’t have to blame yourself or feel guilty if a relationship does not work.
It takes a lot of energy, time and passion to build up a relationship. So much intimacy and emotions are involved in a relationship; you must not terminate a relationship unless all possibilities to save it are exhausted.
How would you know that a relationship can’t be saved? Let us consider the core issues of a relationship. Many people emphasize lack of trust and mutual respect as the main reasons for break up. There could be other reasons, too. I and my ex-wife did not hide anything from each other and we did not have the problem of disrespect. Still, we broke up. Here are the situations when you should consider breaking up:
- In most cases, relationships suffer the major setback over the stress caused by financial problems. In the USA, financial problems prompt 60% of all breakup. If the issue of money, affects your daily life as well as your romantic life, it is a bad sign. I have experienced in my own life that a relationship has a very hard time if lack of money deteriorates the quality of life. In this situation, the only way to save the relationship is to improve the economy.
Both partners should sit together and make an economic plan. If the plan does not work and there is no realistic way to solve the financial problem, then there is no hope in this relationship.
- It is possible that one partner is not interested in finding a solution. Partners in a relationship may lose attraction to one another. In my case, my wife fell for another man. Eventually, I found another woman. It was a very crowded relationship that could not hold.
- Sex is very important in a relationship. If sexual life does not function well, it is difficult to maintain a healthy relationship. It can be both physical and mental reason that sex is not exciting anymore. A couple must try to spice up sexual pleasures by using different foreplay and sexual positions. In my relation, I had a problem. I practiced yoga and tried some positions of Kamasutra. I did our sex life but still, it was not enough.
- Some partners sadly find over time that they cannot live with some crucially significant differences in needs or desires. No doubt, sexual appetite is one them. It could the differences in their dreams, purposes of life, what they want in life. It is very difficult when two persons have 180-degree differences in their thoughts. These differences I have experienced in my relationship. People can compromise some minor differences, but we can’t resolve many major differences.
When it is obvious that relationship cannot survive, you should break up before you lose your energy. I learned a lot from my first relationship. I made many mistakes. I did not repeat those in my second relationship. Now I and my wife are in very healthy and pleasant relationship.