Witnessing someone dying is worse than dying

We all know that life is a terminal condition. We grieve deeply when someone dies; we also become sad to see when a person we even do not know is dying.

But I can assure that people who are actually dying, are not so sad as the people who see them dying.

I am a volunteer at a Danish humanitarian organization which works among the ill elderly people. I was a member of a team that helps the palliative care team at a nursing home in Copenhagen.

I help terminally ill people who have lost the purpose of living. I became in close contact with some patients whose days are counted.

Those people were holding their last breaths- some had cancer, some had cardiovascular disease. They were in the last stage of diseases.

It was a very challenging job for me to help those people who already know that they were dying.

I was present when a person was about to die. The person was not upset for himself.

He was sad watching his beloved people who were crying for him. In fact, he had a hard time calling on family and friends to ease the anxiety of their passing. He was feeling relieved and happier to die.

I knew the man for a couple of months. He had one of the deadliest cancer. He was in immense pain that cannot be described.

He tried to have the right to die. He asked doctors to help him to die easily and quickly. But his plea was rejected. He was, therefore, considering to move from Denmark to Switzerland where it was easier to get death help.

It was known that his days were counted. He had 2 or 3 months to live. He could not do much in that short period.

I advised them to pray to the God he believed and perform more spiritual activities. The communication with Higher Power could help many people to relax.

But he was religiously neutral. He was not sure Whom to pray. I asked him to pray to God according to his religion.

It was not only for relaxation. If there was a God, then heaven and hell exist. Instead of going in debate if there is God, why not pray!! It never hurt anyone.

He started praying. It apparently helped him. He was waiting for his death with peace in mind.

Then the day came. The doctor said, he would not live more. He looked very happy before he was dying. He seemed to be well prepared. He looked relieved

I also was in the room. He said, “ This is my happiest day. I am going to be released from the torture cell. Whatever is waiting for me can’t be more painful than my life here.”

I told him, “You are going to a better place. Don’t doubt about that. You have served punishment in this world. God loves you, He will not punish you anymore.”

That was my last word. He died peacefully.

It reminds me of the last word of the greatest philosopher Socrates, “The hour of departure has arrived, and we go our separate ways, I to die, and you to live. Which of these two is better only God knows.”